I think that Little Red Riding Hood was a bit of an idiot. I mean, was her grandma honestly that ugly and hairy that she could mistake a wolf for her? How insulted would grandma have felt afterwards?
And the name! Couldn’t she be something simple like Anne, or Jane? Who is NAMED after the item of clothing they wear? Surely she wasn’t BORN wearing it, was she?
Does she ever wash it? Her hood, I mean. And on that note, does she ever actually go horse riding? Is her horse named Little Red Riding Horse?
Does Little Red Riding Hood realise that I’m only writing about her to avoid writing what’s on my mind? Nah, like I said earlier, she’s a bit of an idiot.
Ugh, I would KILL to switch places with Little Red Riding Hodd right now. She can deal with my problems, and I can have a grand old time being stalked by grandma/wolves and being saved by sexy woodmen.
What would Little Red Riding Hood do in my place though? Confuse my latest assignment for a birthday card… though that is something I would actually most likely do.
Ugh. It’s all your fault stupid brain of mine! I’ve realised that I never had any problems whatsoever before I started to depend on you. Why are you doing this to me? Is it because I’m not logical enough for you? Well sorry that on most occasions I act like the blond I once was, but is that really reason to torture me?
Maybe I’m too quick to point the blame. Maybe I’m just the biggest idiot on the planet. Nah.